Choices

So, that's how you're going to play this now? When you don't like what I have to say you'll tell me that I've been on edge since I started to work. How about the reason I've been on edge is because you lost your job. You made choices that completely changed our lives, taking us along for a ride that we didn't choose to be on, but your choices put us here, nonetheless. I've been on edge since then, yeah.

You want me to butt out, but you leave little room for that when you are clearly wrong and making a mess out of the lives of our children. When they choose to make decisions that would be different than ones you would make, it does not reflect poorly on you. You reflect poorly on you. They have no responsibility toward making you look good. None.

I would think you could grasp a hold of this concept since it is a very real analogy to the situation we are currently in. So, before you start slinging me through the mud every day and making me feel bad about mourning the loss of something that I was proud of, you should take some responsibility for the situation. I am tired of you. Do you have any idea how many hours a day I spend thinking about asking you for a divorce? At one point I was pretty sure I was supposed to stick this out and make the best of it. Lately, I'm not nearly as sure. I think it's quite possible that I may be able to be happier.

Yes, I am on edge. Yes, I am unhappy. Yes, I am considering leaving you. But make no mistake that any of that is tied to my trying my damnedest to make provisions for this family. It is tied to you. I'm simply unsure how much more I am willing to carry around with me anymore. The kids come first. If you insist on screwing them up for some silly notion that you have of them not being who you want them to be then you can kiss that sorry horse goodbye immediately. I will not play your stupid games. And I will not allow myself to be treated that way, either.

Your choice.